LINCOLN — John Cook coaches Husker volleyball. In his spare time, he tries to teach life.

From international trips to the theme of the year to books he recommends to his players, there's a zen to the way Cook coaches. It's about the experience. It's about what you can learn about yourself.

But this year, the most emotional of his career, the teacher became the student.

"There's nothing in the coaches handbook for what happened this year," Cook said.

Start with the good stuff. Nebraska won the Big Ten title in its very first tour. That's a big deal. Nebraska volleyball owned the Big Eight and then Big 12. But the Big Ten, with Penn State, Illinois, Minnesota and others, commands more respect.

For NU to show so well the first time out was a point of pride for the coach, who has two national championships and nine Big 12 titles on his résumé.

"To me, personally, it felt as good as any championship we've ever won," Cook said. "Everyone in the league gave us their best shot every night."

But never has a championship season felt more awkward for Cook. Never has it been more personal.

On Oct. 30, Cook's daughter, Lauren, was involved in a traffic accident that injured two people. She drove off, then stopped and called the police. She got a felony traffic charge for leaving the scene of an injury accident.

Cook, a junior setter, was entered into a one-year diversion program and the charge was dismissed.

Coach and player, father and daughter, were soon under fire. Lauren was driving on a suspended license, after six speeding tickets since 2007, and was driving the family car. John said he didn't know that his daughter's license had been suspended.

Meanwhile, eyebrows were raised when Lauren received a diversion program. Did her status as an athlete provide that? The Lincoln district attorney said no.

But Lauren's status as a Husker athlete did land her on the front page — and front and center in the public eye. John tried to make the point that if Lauren had been a sorority girl getting charged, it wouldn't be in the papers.

He's right, but it was the wrong thing to say. The politically correct police, sorority division, jumped on Cook. He apologized. He visited some sororities to tell his side.

This is not to drum up sympathy for Cook. The coach and his program have enjoyed a high profile in the state for years. He embraces the media. He appears at a weekly press conference. How many college volleyball coaches get that?

If he wanted attention for his program, he got it.

"Maybe I thought I did," Cook said. "Maybe I don't."

Cook wasn't laughing when he said that. But it was said in a "careful what you wish for" way. It was Tuesday, two days before the Huskers open play in the NCAA tournament. Lauren has returned after a brief suspension. Things are slowly getting back to normal.

Taking a break from watching film in his office, Cook was still somewhat miffed at the attention his daughter received, but coming to grips with the entire year.

"Another program in the country, it's not ESPN," Cook said. "But this is Nebraska. You're right, we have built it. And that's what I understand as a coach. That's part of it, that comes with it.

"But these are kids. And when something happens, we want to teach from it. What else can you do? You can't run and hide. You teach from it."

But, again, this time the teacher was the student.

"Absolutely, I was distracted by this," Cook said. "You hope no parent ever has to go through that. Not only was I distracted as a coach, but also as a parent.

"I've never dealt with the legal system. I've never been to jail. I've never been to the courthouse. I've never had to meet with a lawyer. It was one of those moments that was surreal. Is this really happening?

"But the most important thing was, it was our daughter, who you have to take care of, and take care of the other people who were involved."

He said he reads the police blotter now. Just last week, Cook said, he saw that the son of a CEO was cited for his seventh DUI. Now he's going to prison.

All these things out there that parents deal with. When you're a coach surrounded by type-A kids, kids who want to do well and do the right thing, you get insulated from it. Cook said he was "blown away" from all of the letters and emails from parents telling him about their kids and the things kids do because they're kids.

The interesting thing was, just before the incident, John Cook was doing an interview, on the Big Ten Network, about coaching his daughter, and how he has learned to separate the coach from the father. Then the lines got really blurry in a hurry. And then the whole world was telling the father how to be a coach, and the coach how to be a father.

"A lot of people didn't think I should have suspended Lauren," Cook said. "Bo (Pelini) doesn't think I should have suspended her. But we have a high standard here.

"One of the things we talk about, any action that could affect our program, and affect everybody, there is going to be accountability. We try to keep this stuff from happening. But they're kids. And stuff happens."

I asked the coach if the father disciplined his college kid, too. "Oh, yeah. Laura was held accountable.

"But there are things that won't make the paper. She's visiting a hospital today and having lunch with a kid there. And when you go into the diversion program, it's not a free ticket. She has to do a lot of stuff. She's going to have to fulfill all that, plus work off the bills. Yeah, absolutely, I'm holding her accountable, whether she's a volleyball player or my daughter."

The coach lauds his team, which didn't miss many beats in a 24-4 season. Cook said they "did an amazing job of dealing with adversity." He said the team is resilient, a tight-knit group. Did the distractions make them better? They'll find out, playing in the toughest regional in the NCAA tournament, complete with a trip to Hawaii if they make the Sweet 16.

Cook will embrace it all, now more than ever.

"What did I learn from this? How fragile everything is," he said. "In one split second, everything can change so quickly. We talk to these guys all the time about the decisions they make, after a football game, at a party, in class during the week. Be careful driving home tonight.

"If we get home late from a road trip, I have them text me when they get home so I know they're home. Those freshmen, when we drop them off in front of their dorms, we make sure they get in the dorms. As a parent, you've been around this stuff long enough that you know what happens. Then, when it hits you personally, that's when you realize how fragile everything is."

This year has been a prideful year for Cook, a boost to his coaching ego. But it's come with a heavy dose of humility, too. As in, human.

"The longer I coach, the less I know," Cook said. "As you get older, you're open to learning more. When I first started here, we win the national championship and go undefeated. I'm thinking I have this thing figured out.

"Twelve years later, I have very little figured out."

Contact the writer:

402-444-1025, tom.shatel@owh.com

twitter.com/tomshatelOWH

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